The START....of enlightenment??

Now, it's about time I started a blog, although I'm not exactly the kind to write one, but then again, I have too much time on my hands.... (due to the lack of directions in life :S ) I know....I know....sad case right..... Anyway, I don't exactly know what to post on this, but I guess, anything will do.

If you're wondering what's happening to my life, I myself don't know ahhahaha. Well, looking at it objectively, nothing is really happening hahahhaha. No job, no nothing but I'm still glad for the people around me, especially microbe (yes I name my friends uniquely) , family and friends.

Ok, enough for the boring stuffs, the start of enlightenment, for those who don't know me yet... This is me.....

somehow I'm never known as a good boy :P that image somehow never stick to me ever.... Put in "budak jahat" and it somehow fits me perfectly..... even my best friends cant imagine of me being angelic.... most of them get heart attack when I "try" to be good :P hence the start of enlightenment would be the path of improving myself in every aspect, and I think my blogs will be based on that.

I wonder if some of you might have this sort of problem I'm having. Which is being depressed for no particular reason. After a few weeks of analyzing this, it is deduced that I think too much into things, for which I do not always do, and being jobless aint helping the situation either. It's quite ridiculous living out my days like that, but getting out of it doesn't seem as easy as well. Luckily for me, I have people to help pull me out of this situation, but of course I could not depend on them forever, else I'll just be stuck in this till....the end of me. It still comes and go at times...like today :S The point here is...mind control...is it really possible to control your thoughts?? Or is keeping yourself busy (hence not able to think of it) the only way out?? How long can you ever keep yourself busy anyways? Especially with no direction in whatsoever things.

As for me at the moment, keeping myself positive, and keeping myself busy seems to be the only remedy but I just don't think I can keep it up forever. Weeks seem like months, and days seem like weeks. One bad trait that I have, is that I seem to try to sleep off my depression, which unfortunately only leaves me in a more depressed mode hahahaha. This condition has had me reeling from frustration and the reality that things do not always go well. And the reality that everyone falls at times....mid-life crisis? hahahhaha wakaranai